I cried and cried reading about the boy being found. He's five, he had a diaper rash, he doesn't communicate by talking, they said, which I guess means maybe he's a good communicator but it doesn't do him any good if he's lost! He can't show a picture for help! If a boy with autism shows a picture but nobody sees it, has he communicated at all? A question for the ages.
Anyway, he likes the Wiggles and singing The Wheels on the Bus, and waah waah I cried reading that, just like Anthony. What is it about the Wiggles and kids with autism? Just today Anthony was getting upset and Mike put on The Wiggles for him and it made him laugh and laugh.
He has been climbing up on the window sills lately and it's driving me insane. He went upstairs to my bathroom before and got out the toothpaste and when I found him, he was standing on the window sill and had a qtip in his mouth, like a toothpick or something. It's so weird, this new thing of standing up on stuff. He wants to get higher and higher - today he was standing on the coffee table trying to get to the ceiling fan. What do I do? What do I do as he gets taller and can reach that damned fan and tear it down? I don't know.
My mom was here and she asked what do they say at his school about it? I mean, they don't say anything! I don't know that they could. He doesn't do it at school, even if he starts to, they probably just get him down, seeing as they are one therapist with one child and they can just be with him all the time. I can't be with him all the time. Mike was putting the baby down for a nap. I had my family over to grill out and celebrate the 4th of July, I was doing stuff.
Earlier today he had an accident outside and my lord. MY LORD, the mess was unbelievable. I was on the phone with my mother and I heard Mike say he was getting the wipes, so I got off the phone and saw that he was cleaning Anthony up, and I went to wash the bottles and saw out the window that there was a mess on the deck - and without getting into it too much, let's just say that there were about 1000 flies out there too. So I went outside and Mike and cleaned it up - it is so freaking hot here that it made it worse, and it was EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE! It was on the floor of the deck and in the grooves of the deck and all over the picnic table and bench and on Veronica's shorts that she had left out there and on the hand rail of the deck and on the spindles of the deck and on the freaking sit and spin and - I mean, it was everywhere, it took forever to clean up. In the meantime, of course, Anthony was inside and PEED on the floor! I mean really!
So. It's hard. It's HARD. It's messy and it's expensive because as I said, I'm afraid he is going to break all the window sills and then we're going to have to replace them and then I'll never get my kitchen work done! But you know, I don't really care about the kitchen, or the windows, or the poop, really. When we have a day like this and I get so worried, I'd rather be worried about something tangible like poop - something that can be literally cleaned up and wiped away, because if I think too much about what this means for my life, or what it means for Anthony's life, or the other kids' life, I will go insane. Because the truth is, no one has any answers for us. And in turn, I don't have any answers for Anthony. But we are working on it. I am hopeful that we can figure out something else for him to do instead of climbing on all the damned furniture to fulfill his sensory needs or whatever, before he gets too tall to do too much damage to our house or himself or the girls or me or Mike. I'm hopeful but that's it. I don't know what the future holds but right now it's not looking good.
Hmmm. That's not a very cheery way to end this. Oh, Anthony was in a parade at his school! It was so cute, I'll post the video. That will be a good note on which to go out.
(hugs) to you, my friend. Anthony is so lucky to have you!
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