Day 21 of Lent

This is hardest with Anthony, I'm finding, to do my positive things for every day of Lent, because we are going through such a hard time with him right now!  There have been many times over the last ten years that we have had such dark times and then something got better, and I'm hoping that's the case now.  Yesterday the lady from the dog place called and left a message and of course I have called back four times today and she's not in yet.  I wonder what she's going to tell us.  Will she say that they have a dog for us?  If she does, that means a lot of work.  It means that we will have to go for two weeks of full time training, it means a lot of work for us and if our last visit was any indication, it means that we will be covered in dog hair for the rest of our lives, ha!  I am worried about a lot of things but I am never worried that Anthony isn't up to the challenge, that he isn't smart enough or tenacious enough to make this work.

Last night he was being so rough with me, really pushing me around and I asked Mike to just take him up to bed, I was so over it.  I hate being mad at him but it's so, so challenging at the end of the day when everyone ELSE is being bad too.  Anthony was super tired, he woke up at 3:30 Sunday morning and stayed up until like 11:00 that night, which must have been so hard on him, so I'm guessing he was tired.  He went to bed pretty early last night and Mike and I were worried that he'd wake up super early again but he just had a good night's rest, which is a big relief.  But anyway last night he was being just awful and I think maybe he wanted to go to bed, so he was badly behaved so that he'd have to go.

Anyway, my point is that I am not worried that Anthony won't do whatever it takes to feel better and to be happier, I know he can do it.  I hope that Mike and I are up to the task!

Day 17 of Lent

Anthony is getting so big, it's crazy to me.  I look at pictures of him when he was, like, five, and I think what a big boy he looked like then and man, he was not!  He was a little baby!  He is going to be ten in June.  TEN.  He is big and strong and he's been eating some things now that he long ago gave up, like cheese sticks.  He also hasn't had a seizure in quite a while (I am knocking wood).  He's having a good week, I think we are all happier that the weather is getting better.  I always think about this shirt that he used to wear when he was little that said "I am Strong and Brave" and he really is both.

Day 12 of Lent

Anthony finished his first full week at Little Star last week, and it didn't go super great, he is still having some weepy episodes and some, ahem, toileting issues, but I think he's having all these issues now because he really misses his teacher, Miss Cutter.

I want Miss Cutter, he says with his iPad and it's so hard, we want to give him what he wants, especially when he asks for it on his iPad.  But of course we can't, he can't have Miss Cutter right now.  It makes me think of when he went to the Zoo a few years ago and his therapist said he loved the dolphin show and my first thought was, can I get him a dolphin?  Ha ha I am crazy.

Anyway, I think it's good that he misses her.  He had a big heart and he loves his people and it's reassuring that he can feel emotion.  I mean, of course I know he can but sometimes we get so weary by the end of the week that I have doubts.

Day 8 of Lent

Fun fact:  when I was writing the last entry on this blog, Anthony came in and spit water right at my head!  I couldn't think of a way to turn that into a good thing, in fact I was CRYING I was so frustrated, so I didn't mention it last time.  Now I am thinking that him spitting water at me was inventive (he wanted to express his extreme displeasure to me and he did), shows sticktoitivness, (he had to drink in the kitchen and keep the water in his mouth all the way to the livingroom where I was sitting) and his fun loving nature (spit take!).  It's kind of a reach, but I am willing to stretch myself, for Lent.  :)

He started back at Little Star full time today, it is a major relief.  I feel like we have lost a lot of ground in the last six months so I am looking forward to some catching up!  I pray he gets back on track with regard to toilet training, and also not pushing us around so much, and I really hope he and Felicity can get along.

Yesterday he was eating Thin Mints, which he really likes, and Maria asked for one.  He took a small bite of the one he was eating and then gave it to her and she said, smiling, "well I didn't want a BITTEN one, but I will take it".  He gives us anything and we take it as such a gift!  That is his gift.