Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Epilepsy

How is Anthony's epilepsy, you might be wondering?  It's fine.  He hasn't had a seizure in several months, but I don't want to start talking about it too much or I'm afraid I'll jinx it.  He's taking his medicine so well, twice a day, and he seems fine, and no seizures, soooo, I'll take it!

He is doing well in school and he is doing OKAY with toilet training.  I can't believe I've been talking about it for like four years but in fairness, that is not as long as I didn't do training for him, sooo we are probably not yet even.

My biggest problem with Anthony lately is that I feel like I am always yelling at him, when I talk to him, and I don't see him that much.  My wrist has been broken/getting better for like eight or nine weeks and I started avoiding him in the beginning because I was afraid he'd hurt me and now, between that and the fact that he spends three nights/days with Christina, there's just not that much time.  We are making a concerted effort to spend more time with him and to do stuff as a family, and I hope it gets better.  This wrist has messed me up.

He has this super nice afternoon therapist, his name is John.  He's so good with Anthony, I mean, they all are but I love to see Anthony with a guy.  When Mike and he are together, or when he is with a male therapist, I feel like he seems like a guy's guy, and when he's with his sisters, he seems so annoyed, which anybody would be, but anyways.  He's a good addition to Anthony's team.  Also, his old therapist Sarah is back, who we all loved, and I'm sure he's thrilled.

He's going to be ten on the tenth of next month.  TEN.  Sometimes when I am listening to him yodel away, or when he is sitting on my lap, I think of the little baby he was.  I have never spent that much time with anyone in my LIFE and I will never forget it.  I think that's why it doesn't go fast for me, I feel every second I spent with him.  I feel like I remember every day.  I used to get mad about that but now it makes me so happy, that I can think back to when it was just the two of us.  And my floors were so clean because I vacuumed so much.  Ha!  Anthony Beck, keeping me vacuuming since 2005.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Autism

I always read these things about how you should tell your child they have autism and I always think pssssh I don't have to do that.  I don't know why I always poo poo it in my mind.  But today I was driving Anthony home and Felicity was sleeping and I told him he has autism and that's why it's hard for him to communicate, among other things.  I told him that he was our only kid who had it but that it didn't mean he wasn't as smart, as great, or as loved as the girls, it just meant we had to do some different stuff with him.  I said that's why he went to Little Star and that Mike and I would take care of everything he needs.  I cried quite a bit talking to him but I was wearing my sunglasses so I don't think he knew.  I'm glad I did it.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Occupational Therapy

Last night I was sitting outside Anthony's OT appointment and I could hear it wasn't going well.  "Leave my glasses alone", she was saying and, "ouch! That hurts me!", ugh.  She moved a table and two chairs out of the room that I guess he was climbing on.  I waited until he settled down and then I went out for a walk and when I came back and he finished, the OT and I were talking about why he is so riled up at the beginning of every session.

She said she has other non-verbal kids but none with the cognizance that Anthony has.  I know most mothers would think this but I really think it's true.  He is so smart, and he has all the words, he understands everything, he just can't say it.  She said once she got him some water and a snack he really settled down.  She said she thinks he is thirstier than she thinks he is, and I agree.  I think about how much the girls ask for water, it is ALL they do some days, it seems like.  If Anthony were thirsty half that much, that would still be pretty thirsty!  So we decided I'll bring water and a snack to OT from now on and we'll see if that helps.

I worry so much that he is scared, that he needs something and can't get it.  I'm hopeful that now that he is back full time at Little Star that we can keep working on his communication so he can use his iPad to communicate more needs, maybe even feelings.  Here's to hoping!

Friday, April 03, 2015

Day 26

I am not going to make 40 days, I broke my stupid wrist in Florida and can't type.  But A is doing very well, he is getting back on track with many things, toilet training, therapy, everything.  I missed him when I went to FL, but now that I'm back with my big stupid cast, I have to avoid him so he doesn't hit me.  But he's doing well overall and I'm mostly really grateful that he's back at Little Star full time.  Happy Easter!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Day 21 of Lent

This is hardest with Anthony, I'm finding, to do my positive things for every day of Lent, because we are going through such a hard time with him right now!  There have been many times over the last ten years that we have had such dark times and then something got better, and I'm hoping that's the case now.  Yesterday the lady from the dog place called and left a message and of course I have called back four times today and she's not in yet.  I wonder what she's going to tell us.  Will she say that they have a dog for us?  If she does, that means a lot of work.  It means that we will have to go for two weeks of full time training, it means a lot of work for us and if our last visit was any indication, it means that we will be covered in dog hair for the rest of our lives, ha!  I am worried about a lot of things but I am never worried that Anthony isn't up to the challenge, that he isn't smart enough or tenacious enough to make this work.

Last night he was being so rough with me, really pushing me around and I asked Mike to just take him up to bed, I was so over it.  I hate being mad at him but it's so, so challenging at the end of the day when everyone ELSE is being bad too.  Anthony was super tired, he woke up at 3:30 Sunday morning and stayed up until like 11:00 that night, which must have been so hard on him, so I'm guessing he was tired.  He went to bed pretty early last night and Mike and I were worried that he'd wake up super early again but he just had a good night's rest, which is a big relief.  But anyway last night he was being just awful and I think maybe he wanted to go to bed, so he was badly behaved so that he'd have to go.

Anyway, my point is that I am not worried that Anthony won't do whatever it takes to feel better and to be happier, I know he can do it.  I hope that Mike and I are up to the task!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Day 17 of Lent

Anthony is getting so big, it's crazy to me.  I look at pictures of him when he was, like, five, and I think what a big boy he looked like then and man, he was not!  He was a little baby!  He is going to be ten in June.  TEN.  He is big and strong and he's been eating some things now that he long ago gave up, like cheese sticks.  He also hasn't had a seizure in quite a while (I am knocking wood).  He's having a good week, I think we are all happier that the weather is getting better.  I always think about this shirt that he used to wear when he was little that said "I am Strong and Brave" and he really is both.

Monday, March 09, 2015

Day 12 of Lent

Anthony finished his first full week at Little Star last week, and it didn't go super great, he is still having some weepy episodes and some, ahem, toileting issues, but I think he's having all these issues now because he really misses his teacher, Miss Cutter.

I want Miss Cutter, he says with his iPad and it's so hard, we want to give him what he wants, especially when he asks for it on his iPad.  But of course we can't, he can't have Miss Cutter right now.  It makes me think of when he went to the Zoo a few years ago and his therapist said he loved the dolphin show and my first thought was, can I get him a dolphin?  Ha ha I am crazy.

Anyway, I think it's good that he misses her.  He had a big heart and he loves his people and it's reassuring that he can feel emotion.  I mean, of course I know he can but sometimes we get so weary by the end of the week that I have doubts.