Uptight

Anthony has been doing this thing lately - I mean, he has done it forever but recently it's been every night and late into the night - where he bangs on his door.  We got him a nice heavy door installed but it's totally a situation of, all the better to bang the shit out of the door, guys, thanks! We have been ignoring it the last few nights and it's really helped.  The problem is if he needs attention of the bathroom variety, we don't know until we go up there.  Luckily he is banging the hell out of his door so he can't hear us go up but it's trying.  I mean, it's all super trying! I don't want to complain all the time but MY LORD it is making us really tense.  All weekend he just screams and screams and SCREAMS and SCREAMS. 

I want to say the screaming and the shitting are really ruining me but I don't want to be crude.  The wailing and the wasting? The pooping and the pppppp party noises?  I can't make it work, so I guess we will stick with the crude one.  During Anthony's whole life, I have thought if I can just fix this one thing I'll be okay.  If I can just get him to not scream so much, sleep better, stop running away, eat better, on and on and on.  But I do feel like this is the hardest part, the bathroom issues.  The bathroom and the blathering, ha! It's hard because if he has an accident, you have to take care of it.  If he pees on something when you are out, or GOD FORBID poops, that's a pretty big matzoh ball out there, you have to take care of it.  If we are at home and want to put him up in his room because we've told him, if you do _____ again, you are going to your room, we have to put him in a pull up and put him in those pajamas and THEN put him in his room.  And he's thirteen! Am I going to be doing this when he's 18? 23? Good God, it's too much to think about. 

I feel like my ears are ringing all the time, like when he was little and I could hear him screaming no matter where I was.  The other night Mike and I had both fallen asleep, and he woke us up banging on that door, I mean, it is a modern miracle that it doesn't wake up the girls but it sucks that it wakes us up too.  I can't believe it doesn't wake them up, I can't believe it doesn't wake up the neighbors. 

Anyway. I don't know what my point is.  Life is hard.  There's the lesson for today!