I have been following this guy on Facebook and reading his blog, Autism Daddy is what he goes by, and I have really been enjoying his blog. It's I guess not surprising that people go on and on about what a great DAD he is, how his OUTLOOK is SO GREAT, on and on and on in a way that I don't really see people going on about mothers of people with autism. I would chalk it up to regular sexism, but I think there's something else, too. I think that Dads of (usually) boys with autism can have a lot of problems adjusting, as documented by Rodney Peete, and I think we are all just really impressed when we see a Dad acting in a good and positive way. Of course, we only see the outside of people's lives when they show us what they choose, but this guy is very interesting and seems to have an overall realistic but sunny attitude about his son, Kyle. He is also close to Anthony's age and the dad is close to Mike's age and the boy has pretty severe autism and is non verbal and was also just diagnosed with epilepsy, so there are many similarities and God knows I love to find similar stories to ours, to help us feel not so alone.
Anyway. I try to have a positive outlook about Anthony and his having autism. I remind myself that he is a healthy person, and that he is really smart. I try and look at the sunny side of it, believe it or not, even if by nature I am a pessimistic person. It has been so ... I have no idea what I was going to say there, we are all home and these kids are driving me bonkers. I only thought I could write this because Anthony has been sleeping literally all day, we think he had another seizure in the night because there was evidence that he threw up and he never and I mean never sleeps like this unless he has had a seizure. We want to call the doctor and see about if we should do anything but no one is working today because it's -15 degrees and we have a foot of snow and declarations of EMERGENCY have been made here in Indiana, so we are just letting him sleep and hoping for the best.
Anyway, I am a pessimistic person and I felt really superstitious in a way that I never was when Anthony was a baby. I would have ONE tiny thought about how he had slept okay the night before, or that maybe things were getting better and boom! he would have a terrible night. When Maria was born, I thought surely I can't have two colicky babies in a row, right? And then she was super bad too, and by the time I had Veronica I just expected it to go badly and then when it did I felt bad that she was so bad but also HAPPY that I was RIGHT, for once!
But I can't afford to be pessimistic about Anthony, I simply have to believe that things are going to work out okay for us, for him. I have to believe that his story will be more like this girl and less like the horror stories that I read seemingly everywhere else. He is so smart and so great and so...Anthony that I feel like I owe him a positive outlook. Lord, there are so many people with such bigger problems and there are people who don't even get to raise their kids. I mean, Anthony is right here! He is smart and sweet and so cute and charming and he also has severe autism and sensory issues, that is the whole picture, that is what we are working with. You can't choose your baby, as my mother used to tell me, but I know that we can choose our outlook and we owe it to Anthony to choose a positive and hopeful outlook. I think everyone does.