Thursday

We had a rough morning this morning with Anthony, part of which resulted in me saying "asshole!" and slamming the door of the car.  In my defense, he had just pulled the heck out of my hair while I was trying to put him in his seatbelt.  I finally got him to the car by carrying him on my back, and I got him on my back from a squatting position, which - ouch!  I might skip my workout today.

Mike said he was fine when he woke up (I was taking the girls to school) but that he didn't want to take his medicine, which happens sometimes.  He has been sick, he had a fever Sunday and Monday, and then a rash, but he seems better now.  So why is he being so bad?

Mike said the ride to Little Star wasn't any better, that he was grabbing at him and kicking him while he was driving.  Our neighborhood is so, so icy, it's literally like a skating rink through most of our street, I have spun out several times, so I can't imagine it was easy to deal with that and Anthony.  Then Mike said he was crying a lot, jumping around and crawling up into the back window of the car.  He's been getting out of his seat for a while and it's a nightmare because usually the girls are freaking out and yelling and then it gets really nutty.  I have been just trying to focus on getting the hell home but I am going to have to come up with a better plan.

I was thinking this morning, I am not feeling sorry for myself but holy shit, there is no one who can advise us about this?  I recently started a new job, in late November, and on Friday I got a note from the state, asking me to verify my income because we get Medicaid.  Lucky for me, I have a friend who works in Communications for the State so I was able to get it straightened out pretty quickly but look - we were on the waiting list for the waiver for FIVE YEARS, I spoke to a woman the other day who was on it for TEN YEARS.  Then after we got off the list, it took ten months to get actual services but I get a new PART TIME, WAITRESSING job and those state agencies are on me like flies on shit?  Whatever.  Imagine if the state government was as fast helping people as they are finding out that they are cheating the system!

We are supposed to take Anthony to have blood drawn since we have upped his medicine.  We can just take him to a lab, and there is a hospital near our house so we are planning on taking him there but man.  Do I have to call ahead?  Is there going to be someone who can do it there?  Will they refuse us treatment?  NOBODY has told us anything, his pediatric neurologist just says, go do this, and do it before his first dose of medicine, which is first thing in the morning, which is when our other children also have to be taken care of.  SHEESH.

I am trying to get all my ducks in a row so we can have a meeting at his school, addressing the fact that he was allowed to run out of the gym and then OUT OF THE SCHOOL.  I want them to provide a one-on-one aide to Anthony but I am assuming they won't, because they never do anything I think they should do.  Then what?  Do I have to hire an attorney?  Where do I get the money for that?

Those logistics will just get taken care of, though.  We will get the blood drawn and no one is accusing me of rooking Medicaid anymore, but man, I wish I could figure out why he doesn't want to go to school when he doesn't want to go.  Why does he cry so much in the car?  I read an article the other day, this one, and - well, it's about how sometimes when people say that autistic people are getting bigger and more violent it's just that they are unhappy with the therapy they are getting.  So I started to worry that maybe Anthony hates ABA therapy, maybe he hates his classroom, maybe he hates OT, maybe he hates swimming!  Maybe maybe maybe maybe but here's what would be helpful - if he had these behaviors AT any of those therapies.  Then I thought, maybe he hates being HERE, hates being with us, and that is a little trickier.  Anyway.  That's what is happening here this morning.  Tonight, Christina is coming over, he has swimming, and hopefully things will start to look up.  This weekend it's supposed to be 42 degrees, which sounds like 100 to me after the last few weeks, so I'm sure things will get better.  Or at least not worse!