Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Mom Thing

Here's an exercise that I found online and I am putting it on both their blogs, for posterity's sake.

RULE #1: Admit that One thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It is over with, it is in the past. Remember, you're a good Mom!

This is funny, right? Hmmm. I wonder if I can 'admit' ONE thing that I feel awful about being a Mom. How about EVERYTHING? Ha. I kid.

I feel awful about the way that I talk to and about my kids, but I don't really intend to stop so...I don't know if I can put it in the past. What I should maybe do is when I say some (bad but true) thing about my kids, I should immediately say some (good and also true) thing about my kids. Then at least I will have some balance. I think it is important for me to say the truth about my kids (and other people's kids - ha, kidding), because I can't STAND it when people blather on about how AWESOME it is to be pregnant or to be a MOMMY, but I really don't want to be the kind of person who swears in front of their kids or says mean things to them.

RULE #2: To remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list SEVEN things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself of EVERY DAY, that you rock!

Why am I even doing this? I hate when women say what good moms they are. "I'm a FABULOUS mother", this one mom I know says, and we all (we know who we are) think "oh shut up, you are NOT". I don't know any fabulous mother that goes around saying how fabulous she is. And I know mostly fabulous mothers! Anyway. I don't think that the following things make me a good mom, I think they just make me a MOTHER.

1. I have a never ending font of love for my kids. I never don't love them and feel like it is my duty to take care of them and make them as happy as possible, both in the moment and in the future.

2. I have a good sense of humor, or I used to. Sometimes I think of my friend Adam, who always says that when something bad is happening, you should try and think what kind of story it will make someday and then just TELL the story to yourself, so that you don't have to waste time worrying about it, just make it funny.

3. I am more patient with my children than I thought I could ever be with anyone. I would never EVER let anyone else get away with .. ugh, everything that they do - hitting me, peeing on me, THROWING UP IN MY MOUTH (Anthony), waking me up, biting me, etc., etc. While I can't say it feels like a feather when Anthony whacks me in the face, or Maria head butts me, I can say that I hardly ever cock my fist back to punch them. Hardly ever! Fabulous mother! :)

4. I stay home with them. It is the worst job I have ever had, for many reasons, but I truly think it's better for them, especially Anthony, so I'm glad I do it.

5. I try and dress them well. I have a lot of help, of course, because our parents and families give us clothes for them, but I try and make them look nice so that if their behavior is not exactly perfect (ha, ha), maybe shallow people will be sold on their looks and we can buy them a little time for their goodness to shine.

6. I married Mike and he is their father. He is the best thing about the whole family, really, as far as being a good Dad, and a good husband. They love him so much and they get so excited to see him when he comes home, it's crazy. He comes home every day for lunch and he comes home right after work and he takes Anthony to school and he just - he is an excellent father (fabulous, even!) and we are all lucky to have him. But they didn't pick him, I did, so I am taking credit. :)

7. I put their needs ahead of mine. Ultimately, I know this is also good for me, but it works for them right now so I will put it in the 'something I do for them' list.

I am really glad I could come up with seven!

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