Sunday, again

I just looked at the clock, it's 9:06 and it occurred to me that Anthony is quiet.  He went to sleep early last night and slept until a reasonable time.  Did I say he has been waking up early?  I can't remember if I said that but last week he woke up at like 4:00 and 4:30 several mornings.  On Wednesday, his program manager emailed me and said that he had been lying down (never happens) and that he had a low-grade fever and was holding the right side of his face.  I forwarded the email to Mike and he said that the right side of his mouth was the one that Anthony was really reluctant to have brushed recently and we put 2 and 2 together and got ... four!  Thank GOD!  Mike took Anthony to the dentist on Thursday and they found that our poor baby had a cavity that had (was?) abscessed and he had to have it pulled.  They were going to have to sedate him, so they'd do an x-ray once he was out and the dentist felt like he'd probably find more cavities.  It was going to be scheduled for next week, which was a bummer because he was obviously in pain.

BUT it turned out the dentist's office is closed this week (next week, last week) so he got squeezed in for Friday morning.  Mike took him and hoo boy.  We were so worried about that damned sedative because Anthony doesn't like to take anything orally, we have the hardest time getting Advil into him.  I swear to God, if these children don't get better at taking medicine via their mouth I am going to stock up on the suppositories!  Then I'll show them who's boss, ha!  Anyway, thanks GOD, it went just fine and he took the sedative.  The dentist (we'll call him Dr. Kevin because that's his name) found two other cavities and filled them while he was in there.  They had to take him out in a wagon because he was still woozy, isn't that a sad image?  It got sadder because it was the longest, saddest afternoon I've had with Anthony in a long time.  He was miserable, in pain, I'm sure he had no idea what happened to him, he was numb, he was tired, he seemed confused, ugh ugh it was terrible!  I had to go to work at 5:00 and Mike texted me a picture of him, he had come downstairs for dinner and he looked just great and back to normal.  I was so relieved, and so grateful that Mike thought to send me that picture.  Yay, technology!

Today after church I had an epiphany and that epiphany is that I am a real witch.  I have a friend at church who is the mother of SIX boys, from a two year old to a 14 year old or something.   She has twins and one of them has cerebral palsy and autism and I chatted with him a little bit today while he waited for his Dad.  He was so cute, telling me about Pooh and Tigger and how Tigger didn't like honey so he took a bath in it.  I don't really know about that, but he was sincere as hell, ha!  He was a great talker, but maybe not such a great communicator.  I was thinking later, I am always feeling sorrier for myself and for Anthony, MORE sorry for myself and Anthony because he doesn't talk.  I feel like other moms of kids with autism who are verbal or who are 'higher functioning' (dreaded term) have it so much better than we do.  I think, well, their child talks!  That's all I want!

But of course it's not what I want, I thought today.  What I want is for Anthony to talk and to tell me, I'm so happy, my life is great, you are a great mother, you're hair looks fabulous, ha!  But just because he talked, it doesn't mean that he'd communicate with me in the (unrealistic) way that I want.  Of COURSE it doesn't mean that!  And yet, that's what I've been thinking, every time I have a small, mean thought about another mom who doesn't have it as bad as I do.  I'm so dumb but I'm learning.  I'm getting there.

Anyways, he's down one tooth but up two fillings and it's such great news because Mike and I were wondering what we should do with any extra money and now we know!  Dentist bills, ha!