Monday, March 01, 2010

Article about Autism Acceptance

Hoo boy, this is an interesting (I can't think of a better word, but I wish I could) article. The video that she links to is from a movie that I watched one night, a long time ago, and I seriously was MISERABLE after watching. Every parent in that movie (one produced by those whackos at was so, so miserable. It was right after Anthony was diagnosed that I watched it and I thought - I can't do that. I can't live like that. I remember one mom said that her friends would call her and ask her if she wanted to go for a bagel and she said "I can't go for a bagel. I can't do anything". All she could do was care for her autistic child. Another family lived with their inlaws and they all slept on the floor. Another woman lamented how she had a Masters from Harvard Business School and this is how she was spending her time, miserable taking care of her autistic son (who said "I love you" to her during the video and she seemed so taken aback, so happy about it).

I have a Masters too. I still pay back my student loan every month! I'm glad I have a Masters, I'm glad I went to school and worked and had a life before staying at home with my kids. I truly feel like it was only my education that was keeping me from going insane and throwing everyone out the window, those first few months with Anthony. I KNEW I was tired, possibly a little bit depressed, definitely freaked out at how much Anthony screamed and yelled and how he seemed different from every other baby I had ever heard of.

I'm glad I have Anthony! I really don't want him to be cured - cured of what? I wish he talked more, I look forward to when he talks more, and understands more. I look forward to him not getting so frustrated and not crying so much. You know who else I wish talked more? And who I wish understood me better and wouldn't scream at me so much when she doesn't get her way? MARIA. VERONICA. Jeez - this is having children - it can be hard and frustrating and BELIEVE ME I know that sometimes you want to run away and not come back but man. Why is it that people reject the non- perfect child? Is it because of all the testing we can now do on babies in utero? Down Syndrome is going to be a thing of the past, but only because many people will choose to abort their Down Syndrome baby, rather than give birth to a child who will have problems, who will have to go to a special school, who may not be able to live on their own as an adult.

I gave birth to a perfectly HEALTHY baby, he had the highest APGAR you could get. He is still that healthy baby. He is a perfectly healthy person. I think he is very intelligent. He is sweet and happy and kind and cruel and sad and frustrated and - he is everything everyone's else's kids are. He just might like to flap his hands around in front of his face a little more than other kids.

Anthony got accepted to the magnet school where we applied for him for Kindergarten this year. I don't think he'll go this year, but you never know, as my nephew used to like to say. I don't know what the future holds for Anthony but I don't know what the future holds for the other two, either (although I could make a good bet that V will wake up in the night and M will be up really early tomorrow). All I can do, all any of us can do is just try and make it as good as possible. I don't know why everyone doesn't see it that way. I don't know why everyone can't just think like me! Ha!

1 comment:

Abby said...

Did he get into 91? I was really impressed when I visited and they seem to have a great program for children with autism. Let's make plans to get together this week... I miss you and love seeing your kids get so big- especially that fiesty one- i live that kind of kid ;) I'll email you. I love when you post about anthony- very inspiring for me as a mother and very brave of you.