Sweet

Aren't they sweet? I should say, don't they LOOK sweet? Because they are sweet but hoo boy it can also be kind of rough. It's so, so hard, especially on the weekends, with Anthony. I am so tired of being afraid of him and afraid of his tantrums. I of course am never actually afraid of him, but I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid he's going to wake up crying, I'm afraid he's going to have a big tantrum, I'm afraid he's going to get hurt or hurt the girls, I'm afraid it's always going to be like this.

That's the worst of it - I have to just take it one day at a time because otherwise I get NUTS, thinking, how will I control a giant 13 year old, taller than I am, who is flopping around and flailing out and punching me in the throat? We just have to keep trying stuff, keep getting in at him and finding out what ails him.

He is so cute and sweet, most of the time. This morning I went into him and he was sleepy and warm and happy, babbling away. It's so sweet and nice and also kind of ruined, because I can't just enjoy lying there with him, because I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ha, to drop and to kick me in the face.

We start swimming on Thursday. I bought the cutest pair of swim trunks last night, so it should be fine, right?