Books

Anthony's old therapist Pam told me at Christmas time that he liked these Search and Find books.  At his school, they have a GIANT one, it must be 2 by 3 feet!  I tried to find him some for Christmas, my sister found these big ones at Home Shopping Network but they are not board books, so there has been some ripping.  I have taped the HECK out of them by this point.

So.  Enter my brother Larry and his family.  They gave the kids Barnes & Noble gift cards for Christmas and yesterday I took Anthony on a little outing, just the two of us, and we bought some new books.  I bought books like these, mostly.  I bought one about People, Places, and Things, one about Places to Go, and ... another one. For the girls, I bought an Elmo one (Veronica) and a Princess one (Maria).  I figure they'll all like the seek and find-ness of it.  Anthony really seems to like them.  His favorite animal is the pig and he loves when I make a pig sound right in his ear.  Unfortunately, I have a bad cold right now and it sort of makes me sick to do it, but I have to persist, he loves it so.

Last night, he was super tired and he got *very* upset before he fell asleep kind of early, I guess around 8:30 or so.  Mike and I went to bed early because we figured he'd be up early.  Veronica woke up at 3:20, though, and we let her cry for a while but we were worried she'd wake up Anthony so I got her for an hour or so and then Anthony DID wake up around 4:00.  Meanwhile, Veronica was up until like 4:45 or something and went back to bed, but Anthony never did.  It's an insane asylum around here, sleep-wise.  Otherwise, too, actually, ha!

Hair Don't

Isn't he so cute?  His hair was like that the other day when I went in to get him and I called Mike up to look - I couldn't believe it, it looked like a tornado was in it or something.  He kills me with how cute he is.  He had an okay week, even though he had a stupid SNOW DAY yesterday.  It's crazy - we were up at 5:00 and we saw that the school system that his school goes by had a delay, which made us happy because that means he'd have regular school.  Then at 7:00 Mike saw it was a delay and then at like 7:30 they had changed it to them being closed.  What in the hell?  I would think by then some people may have already left to go to school.  And OF COURSE, everything was FINE by 9:30 or whatever.  Here's the thing - it was snowing and there was some wind.  But my LORD - it's winter!  It's Indiana!  What are we to expect?  And I know that his school has to go by some school system or another but it seems SO stupid that we have to be closed just because a certain school district is afraid of their richie-rich students and parents being upset because the little darlings might get some SNOW on them.  Veronica's therapist lives there and she said that normally the town plows all the side streets but that they hadn't gotten to them when she left for our appointment (8:30).  And I feel for them but BOO HOO, they never TOUCH the side streets in Indianapolis!  I think there are like 10 major roads that they plow and that's it!  Suck it up, suburbanites!  

Mike had to stay home from work because I had Veronica's speech therapy and then I had to take Maria to ballet and I just don't know how I'd do it with Anthony, too.  The funny thing is, Anthony is really not the problem but I can't beat Maria down during Veronica's therapy and watch Anthony and I can't watch Anthony while Veronica exits the damned building every two seconds while Maria takes ballet.  Also, Anthony's tantrums are back with a vengeance and it would be hard for me to control him and the other two if he were to get upset.  So.  Mike stayed home and we are lucky he's able to, I don't know what I would have done otherwise. It makes me wonder what do other people do.  What do single parents of autistic kids do?  Ugh.  

Anyways.  So his tantrums are back and that stinks but we had that excellent week where he was sleeping and never having meltdowns and that still happened. Like I think of it when he's yelling now, how sweet it was when he was happy.  I know it's possible now and it will be possible again, I just have to wait.  

One of his therapists told me this week that they have figured out what his problem is - I mean, why he gets upset, and that it is jealousy, straight up!  She was training a new therapist who is going to work in the new facility, and she said every time she took her attention off Anthony to tell this other therapist something, Anthony would get mad.  It is reassuring to me, because that's what we find at home, too.  He mostly gets upset when he is left alone, when we are doing something with the girls.  BUT lots of times we try and do stuff with him and HE leaves.  So it's a conundrum, still, but it's nice to have some information.  As my sister says, it's fun to be fooled, but it's better to know.  

He is still enjoying swimming, I think he really looks forward to it and is glad to be here.  We filed our taxes and we're going to get him an iPad when we get our money back.  Maybe some day it will be above 50 degrees again and we can go outside more and all be happier.  Oh, we did go for a walk yesterday, just Anthony and me.  We went down the sidewalk a ways and then turned around and we came back and he turned right into our driveway and headed up it.  It made me happy, to know that he knows where to turn.  I know that might seem dumb but ... well anyways I am glad.  

With Amy

We have certainly had some bumps in the road with home therapy, but overall it's been going pretty good. The only reason it goes well when it goes well is because of Amy. By the time she and Anthony get here now, Veronica has had speech therapy and then Maria has ballet and both are difficult because I am trying to corral the person who is not the center of those activities and I am pretty cooked by the time they get home. But Amy plugs away with Anthony and she deals VERY well with Maria and Veronica and we just get through the afternoon. Yesterday they played outside a lot and then Amy and Anthony took a short walk, and it was a great success. It's successful for Anthony and the girls, and also for me, because it's nice to have someone to talk to!

Friday

Anthony had a good week, we are just skating along on our new schedule of sleeping well and not having tantrums.  He had swimming last night and he did just great.  I didn't take him last week, so I was really happy to go last night.  We go to the YMCA, and I - actually I think we are just calling it the Y these days but it is amazing.  I can't get over how kind and wonderful everyone is there.  It is in a not-so-great part of town and the one where Maria goes to preschool is in a better part of town but the difference in the way we have been treated is amazing.  At  Anthony's Y, the Aquatics director comes over every week and calls Anthony by name and asks  how he is.  Since we missed the first three weeks, we are just moving right into the next class and we are going to make up the ones we missed at the end.  The teacher is just wonderful with Anthony, the lifeguard is really nice and cheers him on.  When I went to Maria's Y with Anthony, years ago, for a swim class, it was a nightmare.  The indoor class was moved outdoors, it took me hours of hounding the Aquatics director on the phone to get the money back, it was horrible.  They're just not as nice.  Why is this?  Are people nicer in worse parts of town?  Is it a coincidence?  I know not.

ANYWAYS.  Amy came over today, we played outside some and ate some and she and Anthony took a walk.  We are making plans for some super fun outings when the weather gets better.  I'm bullish for the future.

My Sleepy Valentine

Of course he's yawning, he woke up around 3:00 this morning! He is STILL up and it's almost 9:00! What is he made of, what kind of strong stuff? He is doing well, sleeplessness be damned. He has moments where he struggles, but he's doing so, so much better. We all went outside today and he was jumping and spinning, so excited to be out. He is the love of my life, I feel like. Ha, he would actually make a bad boyfriend, I suppose, what with the kicking me in the throat and the worrying me. But I just - no one has ever needed me as much as Anthony and instead of it feeling kind of choking and scary, it feels exactly right. I feel like we are right where we should be, all the time. We went for a walk this weekend and I was saying, remember Anthony? Remember when it used to be just me and you and we'd walk every day? He, of course, didn't answer but I think he hears and understands me. I think he misses it too. :)

Swimming

Mike took him swimming tonight - through a series of early wakings and non nappings, I am exhausted and I didn't want to drive Anthony to swimming, so Mike took him. We should probably trade off anyway, so he's used to going with either of us. Anthony is not a person who is really hung up on routine like that, but we may as well try to avoid it where we can. Plus it's super fun to watch him have such a good time. For some reason, his lesson was only 30 minutes instead of 45 tonight, I'm not sure why, but that's probably enough for him anyway. He had another good day today. I can't even really talk about it, I can't stand to think that we might be free of these tantrums. I mean, not even completely free but just to be given a break like this feels like an unbelievable miracle.

Ooh, he is driving me batty in other ways, though. He takes EVERYTHING out of the silverware drawer. It's ... it's insane, I told Mike tonight, I was thinking of where I could keep all the stuf in the cabinets and drawers but the fact is, I have to keep the stuff that's in there IN THERE. I just hope to keep telling him no and redirecting him and maybe someday he'll get it. Of course, both his sisters do the same thing so several times a day, it feels like, I take everything that's been in every cabinet and drawer and put it back. Maddening. Also, tonight, not to talk to much crap about him, he went upstairs and ran the water in the bathroom sink, that he was SITTING in, and the water ran everywhere, quite a bit of it. It took about 12 towels to clean it up. Sheesh. I try to think of it as an adventure and a lesson but man. It's tiring.

Big Day

Last night, as I was going to bed, it dawned on me that Anthony hadn't had a tantrum all day.  I have this new plan with his tantrums, which is to completely ignore them until they're over and then when they're over, offer Anthony a treat and tell him how glad I am that he feels better.  I also have been talking a LOT more to him, just in case he is worried that we won't take care of him or something, I tell him all the time that we ARE here for him and that we LOVE him and that we will ALWAYS take care of him.  So maybe it's a combination of those things, or maybe it's for no reason at all.

Either way, I don't care, I just want to go on record that yesterday he didn't have any tantrums at all.  This morning he woke up at 4:00 and was miserable at 5:00 when he was dirty and we had to put him in the damne bathtub but I don't care.  He had a completely good day for the first time in many months and I'm thrilled about it.

Mad

Sometimes he gets really mad, Veronica was all up in his grill and he didn't like it. He had a pretty good day yesterday, he had a few near-misses where I thought he was going to have a tantrum and he didn't. Last night one of his old and most favorite therapists came over to babysit and they got to spend some time together after the girls went to bed, so that was nice, too. It was snowing before, but we're not supposed to get much, so I am assuming he'll have school tomorrow. He was off Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I could see Tuesday and I suppose Wednesday but by Thursday it was really ridiculous. His school goes by the Carmel school schedule, which is fine, but I wish they could be a little more flexible about it. Like, I suppose Carmel didn't have school all those days because the CHILDREN would have to STAND in the ICE at their BUS STOP and oh noes! we can't have that, which is fine by me. But Anthony doesn't take the bus, it just seemed ridiculous for them to miss all those days. I mean - this ice is not going to melt for the forseeable future, so it seems to me that these cities should make some sort of contingency plan. Anyway. He was home all week and he did very well, considering everything.

Imp

Table

Yes, he's standing on the table. He is going crazy, poor baby, without a schedule. He's been home for two days and last night Mike and I went up to him and changed his diaper and laid him down. I said, look, you can't go to school tomorrow, why not just go to bed soon and get a good night's rest?
And he did! He was asleep around 9:30 and slept until like 8:00 this morning. He is well-rested but sad, today, I'd say, which beats tired and sad, I guess.