The Poop

Here's the thing - I don't want to talk about poop.  You can ask anyone, I never, EVER have liked to talk about it.  I don't find scatalogical humor funny, I just - blech, I just do not like to talk about it.  Once you have kids, of course, you talk about it more.  Some days it feels like it's all I do, talk to Maria about it, change Veronica's diaper, etc, etc.  But we had a situation here this morning that I want to talk about, because I keep feeling like I'm the only person this happens to and I just can't be. I know I'm not.

Apparently, we have to figure out something else besides sleepers for Anthony because now he is sliding out of the ones that are bigger, and unzipping the ones that are tighter-fitting.  Last night, I guess before he went to sleep, he got out of his nightie, took off his diaper, and pooped EVERYWHERE in that room.  Then he took his hands and smeared it everywhere it wasn't.  It was all over the floor, the bed, the walls, the closet walls, the door, the dresser, the window, and the clothes that were hanging in his closet.  Mike and I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and then everyone went to school and then I came home and vacuumed and mopped and cleaned again and now I think it's clean.

I keep thinking of those murder mysteries on Lifetime, where they use the Luminol?  I think maybe I could make my living as a crime-scene-cleaner-upper, because I am getting really good at it.

It's so upsetting.  I hate the thought of him sleeping like that all night, although of course he seems largely unaffected.  He frankly seems kind of annoyed about having to take a bath in the morning, he's all "um, not for nothing, Mom and Dad, but I usually do this at night".  Maria talks to us incessantly while we are cleaning - "Is that POOP?"  she asked.  I told her yes, it's poop and we have to clean it up.  "Cause it's DIRTY?"  she said.  YES!  I told her, not wanting to miss an opportunity for some toilet training.  I told her, THIS is why POOP should go in the TOILET!  Because it's REALLY hard to clean UP!

Anyways.  That's what we're doing today.  We are going to start putting duct tape on his diaper, tape on the zipper of his nightie, and checking him before we go to bed.  It's so hard to tell the difference between his regular noise before bed and his poomaggedden noise before bed, we are just going to have to check.  Also, I think maybe we should stop feeding him.  Kidding!