Zoo

Watching the walrus.

It was a beautiful day.

Sweet!

We had a great week with Anthony.
We have been trying putting his vest on him early in the morning to see if he can be a little cheerier and it's been going okay.
He has been *whispers* sleeping well and everything!

Of course we had a great time at the zoo this week, it was his first full week back at school where he had his public school morning too, and it's all going well. I met his new speech therapist and she seems to be just fine. So hopefully all will continue along and things will keep looking up.

How could they not? Look at him! Has there ever been a sweeter boy?

More zoo

I have been meaning to post these forever. I am always waiting for some peace and quiet around here so I could type a nice post, but as it seems like that will never happen, I'm going to go ahead and post these.

Penguin

At the zoo, the other day.

Walrus!

What an afternoon we just had. Here's where I was telling Anthony, "it's all right, it's okay, it's fine, Mommy is right here, and Amy is here, it's fine, it's fine, it's FINE!". We went to see the walrus at the zoo and it was UNBELIEVABLE. It went very well, he is such a good boy. Amy has a friend who works there and we went up on top of where the walruses are at first. It's a grate, like, and you walk across it and can look through it and see and hear them. Anthony was a teensy bit wiggy at first but he just relaxed right into it. His fingers stayed in his ears the WHOLE time, practically, but he really did enjoy it. THEN we went downstairs while Mandy, Amy's friend, fed the walrus and had him do all these tricks, including dancing, shaking her head no, saluting, putting her fin (?) over her heart, and more dancing and shaking. It was an unbelievable experience and although Anthony was whacked out at first, I cannot believe how quickly he relaxed and enjoyed it. It was an incredibly experience. I'll post most pictures later but I just wanted to record how it felt, right now, to have such a brave and beautiful person for a son.

Good News/Bad News

The good news is, Anthony was so, so good at the store today.  He was good when we all went and he mostly rode in the cart, and he was good later when he went with Mike and walked around the store, holding his hand. 

The bad news is that he has been miserable a lot this weekend. 

The good news is that Anthony has found a thing that he really likes.  He really likes to play in dirt and with rocks, just like a typical boy, right?

The bad news is that he likes to drip the dirt and rocks right near his eye and sometimes he gets the dirt in his eyes and that gets him really upset. 

The good news is that today is Labor Day, a holiday that we all take time off of work and appreciate our lives. 

The bad news is that Anthony's therapists have to get holidays too and he HATED being here today. All day, he was like, 'what the hell?  Why am I still here?'

The good news is that Maria and Veronica love Anthony so, so much.  I feel like they are built in friends for him.  Maria wants to be with him all the time.  '

The bad news is sometimes Anthony really wants to be alone. 

I try not to judge our lives, I try not to judge Anthony's life, but sometimes, after a long weekend, it's hard not to.  On to this week, Anthony will have occupational therapy twice and speech therapy twice and hopefully, HOPEFULLY, things will start looking up and we can see less and less of these soul sucking tantrums. 

Saturday

We went to a new park yesterday, it was really beautiful. We all had a good time and although Anthony was a little tempted by all the dirt! and gravel!, he did really well. As you can see, there was a lake, and he didn't go near it. At one point, we stopped to talk to a friend of mine, who was there with her husband and kids. Anthony sat on this hill that headed toward the beach and he kept scoot scoot scooting down, as if we wouldn't notice. Anthony was awake yesteday morning at 5:00, screaming and howling, SO mad, but he went back to sleep until almost 9:00! Maria could NEVER wait that long to go get donuts and bagels and coffee (and juice!), so they had already left and once Anthony got up, we wanted to get him going somewhere before he had a chance to get mad and we opted for the park. I'm so glad we went, it was really fun.

First Day

Ooh I love this picture. Doesn't Maria look dreamy, there in the back? It would be an excellent album cover, they both look very emo.

Anthony has had his first day at his public school. I spent a LOT of time on the phone with various jackasses about where he was going to go and who would take care of him, and I think we got it all straightened out. I'll tell you, though - there are a bunch of rotten people in public education, in my opinion. They do not give a HANG about the child or whether or not they are left behind.

I was talking to some friends this week about schools, public versus private, etc., and I said how we wanted our kids to go to Catholic school, but probably not Anthony, not for a while anyway. I said how it doesn't reallys seem too CHRISTIAN to me, that Anthony can't go to private Catholic school because he has autism, but there it is. He can't. Private schools are under no obligation to provide an education to kids with special needs. Kids with special needs have to go to public school, where they are legally bound to educate them. Although it doesn't really seem to me that our public school wants to educate Anthony. I mean, they DO, they kept telling me, if I would just ENROLL HIM FULL TIME, he could go to the autism classroom, but because I CHOSE to homeschool him (which is what they think of the ABA therapy school he goes to), all they could do was provide him a place at his border school.

I got there to pick him up on Thursday and his speech therapist told me it was her last day. It was also Anthony's FIRST day with her. Oy.

BUT - I will say this - I think his occupational therapist is wonderful. And I think that his speech therapist will be fine. And I think that his inclusion teacher will be fine. Once we got all the contingency plan into place, I think Mike and I are finally happy with it. Here's what his OT told me, via email, after his first day:


I think Anthony's first day went pretty well considering it was a whole new routine for him.
I kept him in the OT room for a few minutes and tried some of the standard activities from last year-sitting on the platform swing; standing on the inflated disc; sitting and bouncing on a ball. I tried to do some joint compression with him and some heavy touch pressure by rolling a large ball over his legs while he was laying down.
After a few minutes we walked down and he met the kindergarten teacher. I let him walk around in the class for a few minutes. He seemed pretty interested in everything. Then we walked to the speech office and he met Ms. Mindy and we stayed in her room for a couple minutes. We went back to the OT room and did a little more swinging and bouncing. I walked with him to Mrs. J's class and he sat at a table without any problem. The other children were very nice and helpful; giving him a coloring page, and a flilp book of the different colors. I helped him color his worksheet, he required hand-over-hand assist but he was helping to hold the crayon.
He finished coloring and we went over to the book bin where the children get books to look at while they sit on the carpeting. A boy from Anthony's preschool class came up and greeted Anthony. He wanted Anthony to sit next to him on the rug. It was time to sit down and Anthony sat down next to his friend and with the other kids.

So that's sweet, right? It made me cry, as I was reading it to Mike, about the other kids being nice and about his friend from preschool. His name is Sean and he's a year older than Anthony. I have high hopes, as usual.

Ice Cream

He really likes his ice cream. He loves shakes and ice cream sandwiches, now. He used to love coffee ice cream bars and fruit pops. He goes through phases for what kind of ice cream he likes but there hasn't ever been a point in the last four years where he hasn't liked SOME ice cream or other. "Ice crease" he calls it. So cute.

He has been saying YES! and NO! recently. He doesn't really say them appropriately, but it's so fun to hear. He was sick yesterday but just headed out the door, back to school, today. He starts at his other school this Thursday, God only knows how that will go.

One Year Ago Today

I read this article/interview with one of my favorite autism moms, and it really made me think.  I have had a few moments here recently where I've had to sort of stumble through explanations about how Anthony is five but he is not starting Kindergarten this year.  I always think, when I say it, "and maybe never!".  But reading this article made me think how grateful I am that Anthony is who Anthony is.  I mean, I know he is who he is and he's perfect for me and me for him, but I can't imagine what I would do if Anthony talked but had autism.  Or if I had had him in a day care situation.  My friend Emi had her son in daycare or preschool or something and he got basically kicked out because he was a behavior problem, and he really just had asperger's and adhd. I don't mean 'just', but you know what I mean.  Our road to finding out that Anthony had autism was long and funky, but not like it is for some.  We're lucky. 

We are thinking of selling our house and moving and I keep thinking, should we move to a different school district?  I can't imagine that we will send Anthony to a public school, full time, until he communicates better and I don't know when that will be.  We are, thanks to his school, starting him on three hours a week of speech therapy starting next week, he's also going to (supposedly) get 45 minutes of speech therapy at his public school.  He's going to start next week getting more occupational therapy at his regular school and 45 minutes a week at his public school - we are really throwing the book at him, therapy wise, and I think he is really going to do well with it.  I am BULLISH for the FUTURE, I told Mike today and I mean it.  He has a great team in place at school, he is **whispers** sleeping better, and I just have decided that things are going to go better for us.  If it works out with that damned public school, it works out, but if not, I will just yank him out and send him to his regular school every day. 

My mom and I were talking about Faith today and I really - I just know that it's going to work out like it's supposed to.  I am not going to ask God if Anthony could please stop taking off his dirty diaper and making a mess, and I am not going to ask if he could sleep better.  I am always, constantly, asking God for the best for Anthony.  I thank God every day, several times a day, that Anthony is who he is, that Mike is who he is, that Anthony's therapists are who they are and even that I am who I am.  It's all going to work out just like it's supposed to, I've decided. 

Profile in Courage

He is so cute and he has been having excellent days in school. We are trying to get him set up in the public school system but LORD LORD LORD these people! are! making! it! difficult! I am so lucky because I have several friends who work as teachers and they are all falling all over themselves to help me, it's really nice. I hope we can get something worked out but if we can't, we'll just keep him out. I read the paper, I told these people yesterday at my meeting with them. I read about the teacher who gave the kid a candy bar with peanuts (to which he was allergic) to try and debilitate him enough that he wouldn't go on the field trip and be a "behavior problem". I know about the school where they restrained the autistic kid with the belt to the chair. I am never having that happen to Anthony. He has a high, high threshold on his insurance and if he was ever going to be in any danger, I'll just leave him at his ABA school forever. They'll invent NEW grades for him maybe? 13th grade? 20th? I just - I can't put him in a situation where he is at risk. "I believe in Anthony!", this one woman was saying yesterday and I said "I do too, but I am not willing to risk his safety. You don't even KNOW him, how can you believe in him?" Oy.

Sweet

Anthony starts OT next week and I have a meeting tomorrow about him starting at his public school. Please let's note they are in their THIRD week and are just now getting around to poor Anthony. Jerks. Once it gets started it will be fine, but they are always SO annoying to get going. It's like they're SO SUPRRISED that school has started again and these little buggers need education EVERY FALL. It's a giant school system and something like twenty percent of the students that were supposed to never showed up at all, so I feel for them, but I feel more for Anthony.

Ice Cream

This child loves the ice cream. As long as he says it, he can have it, so he ends up having like two per day. They are Skinny Cow low fat ice cream sandwiches, though, so he can watch his figure. Ha! One of his therapists is having her last day with him tomorrow, she is going back to school. Her name is Abby and she wrote us the sweetest note last week about how much she enjoyed working with him and how she'd miss him. Anthony really likes her too and I know if he could miss someone, he'd miss her. I mean, I'm sure he'll miss her but he just might not know it, or communicate it. Anyways. He is doing well, I am glad tomorrow is Thursday and it's my last day of the week to go and get him at school. Fridays he comes home with Amy for home therapy and it's been really going well. Sometimes he is like, 'what the hell, WHY am I being asked to  do things at home?' but mostly he is pretty plucky.
Oh! We had his occupational therapy assessment this week and I really, really liked the therapist. She seemed to really understand Anthony and what his major issues are. I could sort of see that sweet boy that he used to be, when the therapist was swinging him around, and it was just great. He made eye contact with me and was like WHERE HAS MY SWING BEEN, MOTHER?


He's going to start at the end of the month and I am just praying that it all works out, schedule wise. On Tuesday of next week, I'm having a meeting with his public school people and I am hopeful that they'll tell me that he can have his school day be any day but Tuesday OR that the OT at his other school will be able to see him on Thursday. I'm confident it will all work out. I'm really pleased about how this OT thing is going at his school. I mentioned it to the executive director, that I would love to know if she knew an OT that would come to his school and that would be able to run the insurance (this is our big issue with his speech therapist, we have to do all the billing ourselves and it's a GIANT pain), and she just ... got someone, and boom! we had an evaluation, and boom! now she's going to see Anthony and it's just all been working out so well that I am going to just assume the schedule thing will work out, too.

Lucky

I have been thinking about this post ever since a friend pointed it out to me the other day on Facebook.  I am getting really kind of crazy about it, so I thought I'd post, in case anyone that knows me reads it and is all of a sudden disinclined to say that I'm a good mother or that Anthony is lucky to have me (and presumably, Mike).

I remember a few years ago, when Anthony was little, I went to a MOPS meeting where the speakers were talking about adoption - one woman who spoke was an adoption expert, and one was the mom of an adopted child.  The mom talked about appropriate language and what you should and shouldn't say to an adoptive mom.  I remember one of the things she said was that she didn't like it when people said how LUCKY her son was to have her.  Her son was born in ... Ethiopia?  I think?  I'm not positive, but I think Ethiopia.  This mom said that her son was no luckier to have her than any other child.  Her point, I think, was that her son was her son no matter what and that they were a family and that people shouldn't assume that she had SAVED her son.  I totally saw her point and it was not something I had considered before and I was glad to know it.  But at the time, I remember thinking, I DO think Anthony is lucky to have us as his parents.  I used to think all the time when he was little that I was lucky that I stayed home with him, because he would never make it in a daycare.  I thought, I LOVE him and I still go crazy with him screaming at me all day, what would it be like for someone that didn't love him? 

In this post, the author talks about how, you know, they are just like every other family.  They go out to eat, and to movies, and her son has hopes and dreams, etc. etc.  I want to say, maybe that's because your son DOESN'T HAVE AUTISM?  MAYBE?  We don't go to the movies, or out to eat very often.  We are lucky that Anthony has gone on some outings with school this year, so he did see his first movie, but we have never taken him to the movies.  We can't count enough on Anthony's behavior (and Maria's and Veronica's and probably mine too) to just go out, without a care.

I read an article recently about a man who beat up a father of an autistic child in an Olive Garden, because the guy's kid was too noisy.  And probably too autistic.  I wonder if it's okay to say that Anthony would be UNFORTUNATE to have a jackass like that as his father? 

I see kids that Anthony goes to his public school with who are extremely misunderstood by their parents.  I think (and say) all the time that Mike and I are lucky that we have the education that we do, the intelligence that we do, the faith in God that we do, because I don't know how we could get through these years without it.  Anthony went to school with a boy whose mother used to give him all his medication for the day if he was "bad" in the morning.  Then the boy would vomit as soon as he got to school.  I think Anthony is lucky that I don't do that.  We can say that, right? 

I think about the blogger at this conference who said that she felt like she 'picked a four leaf clover' the day her (autistic) son was born'.  I think this is a lovely sentiment, and I share it.  I almost think it goes without saying, about all three of my kids.  Who doesn't feel this way?  Who thinks, 'boy, I really drew the short straw with THIS one?' about their CHILD?

I can't even remember if anyone has ever said to me that Anthony was fortunate to have me, they probably have.  It didn't occur to me to take offense when someone was saying something nice to me.  Listen, I get mad at people ALL THE TIME, but even I am not so into taking offense at every freaking thing that I'm going to get mad when someone says my son is lucky to have me for a mother.  I think he's lucky, I think they're all lucky.  And even if they're not lucky, they're destined to have me for a mother.  I do believe that God gave me all these kids, so it doesn't offend me if someone says that.  I guess if I didn't think God had anything to do with it, it might bug me, but man.  People say stuff to me ALL THE TIME that I think is NONSENSE and I don't make RULES about it. 

For example, I think any mother who stays at home with their little kids is full of GARBAGE if she says how great it is.  I think women who go on and on about pregnancy being so great are LYING LIARS.  But I'm not DEMANDING people stop.  Because it's just my opinion.  Why does it have to be that just because YOU think something, it has to be TRUE? 

Update

Things are going along with us.  Anthony is having about the same time he normally does - some tantrums, some happiness, some sleep, some tearing the hell out of his room.  He got a hold of a package of wipes the night before last and - well, there were a lot of wipes thrown around the room, is what I'm saying.  I went in to get him and I saw this white stuff all over and I was so afraid it was his diaper, I didn't even care about the waste of all those wipes! 

He has been coming home on Friday afternoons for four weeks now, it's going pretty well.  We are going to start doing some outings, maybe the zoo, the museum, etc., but we are waiting for some cooler weather.  This weather is exhausting and ridiculous, there has been no break in it, I think is the problem.  I can't take them to the zoo at 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon when it's 95, I just can't.  It seems cruel!

I went to his meeting at his school here recently, it was great.  He works with this one therapist Pam, from the beginning they've worked together, and she is wonderful.  She puts up with exactly NO nonsense from him, but she seems to really care about him and he loves her.  His successes are her successes and that's just how I want anyone who works with him to feel. 

I am reading this book, and it's kind of depressing.  This woman's son has autism and I saw Autism, The Musical, and he seemed pretty profoundly affected to me.  I am always on the lookout for children who seem as autistic as Anthony.  But I'm reading this book and he's READING and DOING MATH and SLEEPING all night and I just - it feels like we will never get there.  Also, it seems like every damned book I read about someone with autism, they are the only child and the mother can put EVERYTHING into their one child's life and I just - can't.  So anyway, I think maybe I'll delve into a nice cheesy novel next and lay off the autism reading.  :) 

Never

This has never happened, needless to say. Anthony went swimming (!) today on a school trip and he has been wiped out. He lay down on the couch and Maria came in from our pool, naked of course and filthy, and joined him. They laid there for quite a while, like ten minutes! Anthony! Next to Maria! It was very exciting.

This is a hard week on us, Mike is away for the week and Mike and I were both gone this weekend. So Veronica is never anywhere but under my armpit, and Maria keeps saying "Daddy's at WORK?", like, COME ON LADY, how am I supposed to believe he's ALWAYS at WORK? Anthony is largely unaffected. :)

I had his meeting at school today and I think he is doing well. I was telling his new case manager and speech therapist that he hasn't always been the way that he is right now. I was trying to tell them that he used to be a very happy, sunshiney person all the time. We were talking about how to get him to do imitation and I was telling them that he used to sing and dance all the time and, of course, like the jackass that I am, I got a little overwhelmed and started to cry. I'm sure it's not anything that they haven't seen, but it is mortifying just the same. I'm just tired, I wanted to tell them, I'm fine! I'm not the nutball that I appear to be! But I think people that are crazy probably go around saying "I'm not really like this", so I just said I was sorry and let that be that.

I was trying to make him laugh

He did, eventually. See his little fire badge sticker? So cute.

Cute

Isn't he so cute? Lord only knows what his dear sister is complaining about here. He had a good week at school, he really enjoys the trips they go on and today they had the fire department come to their school. His therapist said he really liked the truck, sitting in it, looking at the uniforms, etc. She said he liked the truck so much, he didn't want to give anyone else a turn! Ha, I bet!

Does this look like a grad picture to anyone else?  It's not.  We went for a walk today after Anthony had kind of a big meltdown.  He hates Sundays, and so do I.  I am hopeful that he will continue to feel better and do better in school and love us more.  Ha, kidding.  We had a nice weekend - yesterday we went to the park early in the morning, before it got too hot, but it was too late for Anthony.  He just wanted to sit in the dirt, so we left after a short while and went out to lunch, which was verrrry successful, especially for us.  Anthony was the best of the three!  Today we all went to Costco and he was very good, it's just when he's here and not busy that he seems to really get tense.  It's hard, it's painful, and we hope it gets better.  I don't want to end on a downer, but I am trying to think of something good to say. 

Have I mentioned his therapist Amy?  She is fantastic, she loves him so, and she is the one that is going to do his home therapy.  She came here on Friday and we are going to continue on Fridays now.  Sometimes we'll be here and maybe sometimes we'll meet at the Zoo, or the Museum, or the park.  I was telling her the other day that she might be sorry and she said, kind of scolding me, "I love him!  There is nothing that he could do that would make me not love him!".  Jeez, I was glad I was wearing my sunglasses, because that kind of proclamation made me cry and cry.  I mean, I think Anthony is lucky to have his two parents and family feel that way about him but to have this therapist feel that way about him, she who spends so much time with him and knows how to get in at him... well.  We are lucky indeed. 

Bowler

Anthony went bowling today! So many firsts this summer. I told Laura he went bowling and he did well and she said "what did he bowl?" Ha, I told her, they don't keep score, it's kids' bowling. But his therapist Amy said he put on his bowling shoes and bowled away, so that's good enough for me. She is the joy of my life right now, this Amy. She loves him so much and she is so, so nice and sweet to me. She is going to be doing his home therapy on Friday afternoons and I'm so happy about it. We are really happy with his therapist lineup right now, I can only hope it stays this way for a while.

Weekend

Our weekends can be kind of rough. Anthony fell asleep early last night, so Mike and I were worried but he slept all night. He had a dirty diaper in the night, though, and so he was red and a mess when we went in, so it started the day kind of badly. I put him to bed last night, though, and he was fun as hell. I went back in because he was yelling, and I brought him a glass of water. He was putting the glass up to his nose and looking through it and we had a heck of a good time, looking at each other through the glass. I love it when we can figure out a way for him to be happy and feel like we are connecting.

We are trying to get his speech therapy figured out. He has seen the same speech therapist for ONE YEAR and I had to beg for a progress report, and even then it took six weeks. The director of the place is the one who delayed the report for so long, and she always wants to talk on the phone instead of communicate via email. It's really hard for me to talk on the phone in any organized way because I'm always with some kid who's screaming in my ear, so I prefer to email. I find it unacceptable that in the year TWO THOUSAND and TEN someone can't conduct business via email. So I am hoping to quit her and start with a new speech therapist as soon as the full time one starts at Anthony's school. BUT I am still going to have to work with her because the occupational therapist that we want Anthony to work with is employed by her. It's a big pain and I'm trying to get it worked out as well as I can, doing the best for Anthony but also not being bossed around by nimrods who won't communicate with us. Honestly, I felt like saying to this woman - I thought ANTHONY was the one with the communication disorder, not you! Jerkstore.

Anyways, back to Anthony. He had an excellent week at school, he has more trips coming up this week, and we are hopeful that he'll continue to feel better and have less tantrums. It's boring, but true.

Temple Grandin at TED

Here's Temple Grandin talking about why the world needs people with autism.  She is really amazing, I just can't get over how lucky we are that she is a writer and speaker.  I really feel like she gives me some kind of window into Anthony - I know all people are different, but I'll talk what information I can get.  I hope what she is NOT saying here is that people with autism who SPEAK are needed, but I think she might be.  I hope and pray that Anthony can talk someday.  This morning he walked by Maria, who was lying on the floor under a beach towel, and said "blanket".  Maria said "Good job, Anthony!".  She is well-trained!  Anyways.  I am hopeful that Anthony can talk someday and if he can't, if he's not meant to, or whatever, then I hope that we can find a way to get him to communicate with us (and the world) in some other way.  I hope I hope I hope.

Big Week

Anthony went to the bouncehouse on Monday and today he was off to the splash park. He is still as tantrum-y as ever, BUT he is sleeping... well, I'm not going to say how he's sleeping, I just refuse to think about it. We did get him some new feety pajamas, they fit a lot better than his other ones. They are sweet looking, one has horses on them and one has cats. It beats the hell out of wrestling him into those too-small Gap ones every night. His hair looks nice, right?

Viva Spain!

Mike bought that outfit for Anthony years ago and it just keeps fitting. It makes me realize how big it used to be on him. Poor, poor Anthony woke up at 1:00 this morning and just went to sleep at 7:00. We are praying and praying that he sleeps all night. He is starting back to school tomorrow and we are all excited! He has some trips scheduled this summer, tomorrow he is going to a bounce place, they are going to the zoo, a splash park, etc.

We are also going to start him back in occupational therapy at his school soon. He got OT at his public school during the school year, so I think maybe he should start up again, maybe it would lessen his tantrums? Here's hoping, anyway.

I watched the Temple Grandin movie on HBO and it was so, so good. I cried and cried. Claire Danes was *amazing* as Temple Grandin, and the story was just so well told - it is hard to be in the mind of an autistic person, especially one like Temple Grandin, who sees 'in pictures', as she puts it, but whoever made the movie really, REALLY got it all across. It makes me so worried and hopeful for Anthony, at the same time.

There is a scene where Temple Grandin is graduating from college and she makes a speech about how she couldn't have gotten through without her mother and her family and friends. She then sings from the musical Carousel, the song "You'll Never Walk Alone". She is NOT a great singer, but it is a super poignant moment. I think Carousel is a horrible musical with a terrible message, BUT the song is beautiful and of course that scene made me cry and cry. The lyrics go:

When you walk through a storm,
Keep your chin up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.

So Waaaaah! I cried, all through the movie. But it's true! I think Anthony can do anything, and I think we can help him do anything. I have hope in my heart. MOST of the time. :)

Post Zoo

We had a good time at the Zoo this morning. Anthony is such a leaner and a rubber, though! He was leaning up against some woman, when we were looking at the seals, just rubbing her leg with the back of his hand. We all laughed and said he'd be a real ladies' man. Ha! We saw some kid in a shirt that said "I'm autistic, what's your excuse?" I don't really like the term "autistic" for Anthony, I prefer to say that he has Autism, but it was a really cute shirt and a good idea to wear it to the Zoo. We went to the water/splash park at the zoo and Anthony had a really good time, I think! He got completely soaked and seemed to enjoy running around in the various splashers. He didn't look at any animals, really,except the fish and penguins. He's a water guy. All in all, it was a short but successful trip.

Heartbreaker

He breaks my heart into a million pieces, it feels like.

Vacation

We are on day three of Anthony's vacation from school and it's HELL on EARTH.  Ha, just kidding, but it's not great.  We have these ideas of doing all this stuff with him and keeping him busy but he is not fooled, he is not in school, Maria will NOT leave him alone, and he's had it.  He was up at 12:19 a.m., woke up screaming and crying, just FURIOUS.  He calmed down after a while, I rubbed his hands like the little Asian ladies do during a manicure and he seemed to really like it.  I run out of ideas and then I think what would calm me down?  When he is having a tantrum lately, he works his hands a lot and I thought maybe they were tense.  So I rubbed from the palm of his hands, out toward his fingers, and he seemed to like it.  Or maybe it was a coincidence, who the hell knows.  I left him after about 20 minutes and about 30 minutes after that, he was screaming again.  Mike went in with him and then neither of us went in again, but he was up until about 5:00.  5:00!  He slept from 7:30 til 12:19 and then was up until 5:00.  I wish, in a way, that I could sleep like that, since ... well, since I have to sleep like that.  The girls were up at 6:00 and Mike was up with Maria at 3:30 and 5:00, so we are tired.  I woke Anthony up at 9:30 because his speech therapist was coming at 10:00 and he is in there with her now, and it sounds like it's going well. 

So.  We'll go with that, he's having a good time at speech therapy and once that's over, we'll try and do something else with him.  And we will all look forward to next Monday! 

Here's a picture from one year ago.  Sigh. 

Happy Fourth of July!

It would be a lot happier if someone wasn't melting down into tantrums all day. Ooh, he is in a mood! He woke up on the floor, of course, and was mad about it and he has been mad almost the whole day since. Grinding his teeth, crying, throwing himself around. It's very exhausting.

Better

Here's a better picture of him than the one that's up there!  Anthony has been a little puny the last few mornings and has had some (not to give TMI) some d-ha, but he seems great tonight.  He ate all his dinner and we have been playing chase and everything has been good.  I'm hopeful that he's getting better, whatever it's been.  He could just have a little bug or feel a little off, but it's not like he'd say.  He'll never even sign 'sick' or 'hurt' or anything.  Anyways, here he is, so happy and sweet.